An Ode to Mam

(To the tune of "It's all Part of Being a Pirate" By Don Freed - Here's a link to a poor version of the song, for those who aren't familiar... Being a Pirate is all Fun & Games)

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til someone is sick in your hair.

Though you've just washed it,

Conditioned and brushed it,

That 'vom' will still find its way there.

And you may not have noticed,

On the back of your coat-is,

A sick stain, don't know how it's ther-rrrrrre,

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til someone is sick in your hair-air.

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy,

Without sick in your hair-air-air

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy, 

Without sick in your hair.

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til somebody poos on your clothes.

It's when you're alone,

With no-one to phone,

Telling yourself it 'smells like a rose'.

You're out with the Mam's

To the park with the prams

When you see it's splashed into your toes,

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til somebody poos on your clo-ooooooooothes.

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy,

Without poo on your clo-ooo-ooothes

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy, 

Without poo on your clothes.

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til someone wakes up in the night,

It might be from hunger,

Or to sing you a song or,

Because it's just got too light.

You fall out of bed,

Give them a pat on the head,

Tell them it will be alright,

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til someone wakes up in the ni-iiiiiiight.

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy,

With a full night of sle-eee-eeep.

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy, 

With a full night of sleep.

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til somebody catches a cold,

You might be quite normal,

Quite rational and audible,

But that sniffle, well it just won't go. 

The only answer -

You're convinced they've got cancer,

Despite what you have been told,

Being a Mammy is all fun and games, til somebody catches a co-oooold.

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy,

Without losing your mi-iiiiinnd,

It's all part of being a Mammy

(A Mammy, A Mammy)

You can't be a Mammy, 

Without losing your mind.