Saturday 8 March 2014

A dedicated follower of fashion...

Two Sunday's ago Mu invited me to church. Now I've frequented the establishment before, on numerous occasions, for various reasons, however, this is the first time Mu has actually requested my presence. I was delighted, honoured, and yes, a small tear of happiness welled up in my feline eye, and not just because I'd got one of my hoops caught in the retractable basket of a Happyland Fairy Tree House as the invite was given.

Thus, prompted by Mam, an explanation of what my visit to church would entail - I listen patiently as I was informed, with mounting excitement, of the "pwaying (praying), pWAYing (playing), singy songs (singing songs) and fighting (?)" that were Mu's top 4 reasons that I should want to attend. While we all dwelt on Mu's concluding reason, Mu herself had hopped off to get ready for church. This also involved dressing Karoo (plonking an N-Dubz style hat on her head so that the ear flap covered both eyes) and Mam, selecting a left and a right shoe, which sadly didn't match. I was then presented with my ensemble for the occasion...hat, shoes and coat. When I say 'hat' I mean pink, knitted bonnet. When I say 'shoes' I mean pink knitted booties. For 'coat' read 'one half of a pink knitted twin set'. Slightly caught on the blind side I missed my opportunity to ask "Is this a joke?" and before I knew it, Mam was being instructed, nay, carrying out the instruction to "DWESS MY LION PEESE"

As I started to utter my objection I was met with a swift and lengthy response that went something like this...
Me: Grrrr..
Mu: Need a put a shoeses on As-san, your foots will be colderer, it's very colderer outside inda garden...
Me: grrr...
Mu: Anda hat, As-san, your hair will get cold, my hair is colderer too, my need my hat so my hair is not cold...
Me: grr...
Mu: Mammy, MAMMY! Put As-san shoeses on his feet, tie dem on, Mammy, or dey might just fall off and As-san feet will be colderer and maybe a little bit sore...
Me: gr...
Mu: There you ARE! As-san you look beauty...Mammy, MAMMY! As-san look beauty. Daddy, DADDY, DADDY! We are all ready, get your hat and your shoeses and your coat on, daddy, you look beauty...

And with that I was swung over Mu's shoulder and I was off. To Church. In public. Wearing one of Karoo's Hand Knitted Matinee Sets.

Do you think anyone noticed...?