Thursday, 11 May 2017


Recently Mam received a gift - well, I say recently, it was for Mother's Day, but she used this gift recently which for her is pretty impressive. Anyway, she got this gift -she was given 2 tickets for a massive wash - which I found odd as I consider ablutions a necessity rather than an activity but still.

Now, allow me to digress for a moment and just correct your thinking here, this was not, as I thought, (and I think Mam hoped) 2 tickets for Mam to go twice, she had to take Dad. Yes, Dads like to wash too it seems.

So she received 2 tickets and was told to 'Hold on for Easter!" (with a grin) as, shortly after Mother's Day, Easter arrived and she was given 2 tickets for Afternoon Tea post wash (again, I draw your attention to my previous digression - she was only ever getting 1 AFTERNOON TEA and she did hide that disappointment well). This also made Dad's repeated shouting of "Don't get ME anything for Easter!" (accompanied by the same grin) more understandable...

So Mam and Dad went to the spa. I had no concept of what the spa was but thankfully neither did Mu and so she threw out the question to Mam, and it went like this...

Mu: where you going Mam?
Mam: to the spa darling!!!
Mu: will you get me a treat, maybe...a magazine?!?!? (cheeky grin)
Mam: no, A spa not THE Spar?
Mu: is it still a shop?
Mam: no, it's a lovely relaxing place
Mu: what will you do there?
Mam: well, just relax a bit
Mu: why?
Mam: erm, cos sometimes Mam's need to just sit quietly
Mu: for how long?
Mam: oh just the afternoon
Mu: THE WHOLE AFTERNOON? won't you get bored just sitting?
Mam: oh well there's things to do
Mu: like what?
Mam: well, I might sit in the sauna
Mu: What's that...
Mam: it's a very hot room
Mu: then what will you do?
Mam: erm, maybe sit in the Steam Room
Mu: What's that...
Mam: a very hot, very wet room
Mu: is that it?
Mam: no, then I might sit in the hot tub
Mu: Sometimes when I get too hot I get REALLY swea-i, like ma hair is just SOOOOOAKIN!
Mam: yeah?
Mu: will you be swea-i?
Mam: well..erm..yes...a bit
Mu: what's a hot tub?
Mam: oh, it's like a big....bath
Mu: oh well, you'll be fine if your swea-i then
Mam: yeah, i guess so...
Mu: is that all there is to do?
Mam: well, some people get a facial, but I won't be
Mu: what's that?
Mam: it's where you lay down in a peaceful room, with lovely music and a lady comes and...well...rubs your face...
Mu: Rubs, mam? Rubs? Rubs your FACE?!?!?!?!
Mam: ...yeah...

At this point Dad came in...

Mu: Dad, are you going with Mam to the spa?
Dad: yes
Mu: well, Mam's going for little relax, she'll be really sweat-i and you will be too but don't worry cos there's massive bath and a lady might rub your face but that's oookkkaay it's supposed to happen...oh, there's nothing to buy there...

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