Thursday, 16 March 2017

Stand Off

Following on from last months blog it seems battles lines have well and truly been drawn in the house (for a moment this opening had the ring of a n early 2000 Big Brother episode minus Davina). Mam is on the war path and this is a path well worn.

You'd think that as this was not the first time Mam has donned her armour and thrown herself over the top (the latter she's been doing since the age of 2 and a half), she would have a distinct advantage over her newest daily adversary, however, Mam has found herself on the back foot for 2 reasons...

1) This opponent has tactics never before used in warfare thus far...
2) He's REALLY strong...

Now while I realise Mam has a reputation to protect, one of high wit, excessive stubbornness and fox like cunning, not to mention her 'Ice Queen' persona (which has been likened to kicking a puppy and not caring*), however, questions have started to arise as to whether this time...she's beat.

Ru's persistance in refusing to take part in ANY ACTIVITY in which he does not want to have resulted in a literal stand off between the 2 sides. He's also started to couple his part of the stand off (more of a lay-off) with the words "I won't".

What started out as him registering his protest at a nappy change has become all out combat if it doesn't involve football, Thomas the Tank or a room/location which, although 28 seconds earlier he was happy in, now does not meet his taste (whatever that is...)

Last week he changed his mind on the walk to church "No bring push chair, Mammy" with just 100 yards to go. Mam dug her heels in and refused to carry him the last few strides - mainly because he has started to state his position with 1000 yards to go, and Mam was feeling in the zone at that point (and she quite literally cannot carry him anymore). Anyway, 100 yards from the door of church, having screamed like someone off The Walking Dead down most of the street, he lifted up his legs and did that thing where he won't stand up and thus swings in mid air while Mam holds him up by one arm.

Like I say, Mam was on her game and so placed him on the floor and began to walk (very slowly, for all you Social Workers out there) away.

Ru anticipated this and curled up, as if in his bed and started to suck his thumb and close his eyes.

Mam, still convinced her 2012 tactics would work even though she'd never really been faced with a 2 year old attempting to sleep on the pavement, stopped. Which left Mu and Karoo prancing about in no-mans-land (dressed appropriately in high heels and tutus).

There was a brief moment where nothing really happened and then a passing dog began licking the 'sleeping' Ru. And everyone, including those looking out of their windows at what they believed to be a 'murder' taking place in the street, weighed up who could really count this situation as a 'win',

He's 23 months old with the intellect of Stephen Hawking and the strength of a 7 limbed Ultimate Warrior.

* All puppies mentioned are fictional and any likeness to incidents involving puppies either living or dead is entirely coincidental...particularly puppies included in the latter.

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