Monday, 27 May 2013

The Week That Was

You'll all be pleased to hear that I am over the trauma of last week's real life nightmare. Although it must be said that I did spend the 3 days following, convalescing in the cot, thankful that Mu was able to be entertained by terrorising insects in the garden. I've declined the offer of counselling from Mickey Mouse.

In other news, Mam has now officially gone mad. Hormones have clearly got the better of her and she doesn't seem to even mind this fact. She has spent the last week cooking anything in sight and freezing it like a woman preparing for Nuclear War. Mu is having daily lessons in how to look after her Dollies in the hope that this will prep her for the immanent arrival of Baby number 2 and she topped off the week by, today, shaving a large patch of hair off the back of Dad's head...that'll teach him to ask a fat, hormonal woman to assist him in a hair cut.

Dad has spent most of the day mourning the loss of approximately 1 and 1/2 inches of hair, which although one might consider a small amount of hair loss for a man of 30, is apparently an issue. Seems Mickey's pastoral skills have been called upon to prevent a period of convalescing to rival my own. Mam's excuse for the hair incident of

"I was thinking about something else..." 

and her statement trying to make it seem sightly less worse than it actually was of

"Well, you did ask me to make sure there was no silly 'Rats Tail' style mullet..." 

did nothing to sooth his pain or stop him feeling the need to constantly stroke the back of his head. She is prepared to accept full responsibility for the fact that Dad does now look like a cancer victim as the only solution was to shave his whole head again to a number 1. This decision mainly due to the assessment of Mam being able to 'grade in the shaved patch", falling to a similar level of that of a blind hairdresser. Thank goodness I naturally moult...

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