Scaring Crows

Uncle Dom has recently been touring with an up and coming folk duo by the name of Gilmore Roberts, who have an interesting little ditty "Scarecrow", which opens their latest album. With dad being a man who is quite into his folk music and Mam being a driver who can't change the CD that is already in the car stereo, we have been treated to the Gilmore Roberts third album - "The Innocent Left" - to the point where I could reasonably offer to join them and form a trio.

The philospofiser in me, however, has noted during a lengthy journey to see Gran & Grandad, that the career of said Scarecrow does bare similarities to the career, thus far, of Mam since she took on her role as mother...this then is how I feel the song would have gone, had she been clever enough to have thought of it first...

(Click the yellow coloured words to see who Gilmore Roberts are or to hear the original song)


The eyes of a glowering mother out wide
Left over toast in her insides
A human form her rags provide
Out in all weather

A pirate hat that sits askew
With a cardboard sword she'll run you through
But as long as she can raise a kid or two
Out in all weather

When crafting together
Her art skills shown
Fall quite below
But she does the one thing that she's loved and known
Drawn goat to hone

If her mouth could shout and swear it would
Had she not a child that repeat it could
But her presence is enough to do some good
Out in all weather

But the day is sure, its a matter of fact
When the bairns get wise to her menacing act
That her image hides, conviction lacks
Out in all weather

With tantrums to weather

Through stubbornness shown

Until they're grown

She does the one thing that she's loved and known

With a very stern tone

Fearing for her pride

On the step they sit and moan
If her kids she could just tie
She'd have the time to shower alone

Right arm, left arm sitting on the fence
Leading a vote of confidence
The oldest one plans her offence
Out in all weather

And taking heed of the casting vote 
She squats and poos with a scornful gloat
Sitting proud on her mothers coat
Out in all weather

And I'm sure there'd be tears had she time to cry
For the mockery this scene implies
"Don't need the loo" was all just lies

With toys you just can't tether

Sat on her own

On a soft-toy throne

She fails at the only thing she's known

Making home