The philospofiser in me, however, has noted during a lengthy journey to see Gran & Grandad, that the career of said Scarecrow does bare similarities to the career, thus far, of Mam since she took on her role as mother...this then is how I feel the song would have gone, had she been clever enough to have thought of it first...
(Click the yellow coloured words to see who Gilmore Roberts are or to hear the original song)
The eyes of a glowering mother out wide
Left over toast in her insides
A human form her rags provide
Out in all weather
A pirate hat that sits askew
With a cardboard sword she'll run you through
But as long as she can raise a kid or two
Out in all weather
When crafting together
Her art skills shown
Fall quite below
But she does the one thing that she's loved and known
Drawn goat to hone
If her mouth could shout and swear it would
Had she not a child that repeat it could
But her presence is enough to do some good
Out in all weather
But the day is sure, its a matter of fact
When the bairns get wise to her menacing act
That her image hides, conviction lacks
Out in all weather
With tantrums to weather
Through stubbornness shown
Until they're grown
She does the one thing that she's loved and known
With a very stern tone
Fearing for her pride
If her kids she could just tie
She'd have the time to shower alone
Right arm, left arm sitting on the fence
Leading a vote of confidence
The oldest one plans her offence
Out in all weather
And taking heed of the casting vote
She squats and poos with a scornful gloat
Sitting proud on her mothers coat
Out in all weather
And I'm sure there'd be tears had she time to cry
For the mockery this scene implies
"Don't need the loo" was all just lies
With toys you just can't tether
Sat on her own
On a soft-toy throne
She fails at the only thing she's known
Making home