A Public Apology

Following the Post titled "An All Time Low" it has come to my attention that an official, public apology is needed.

While, at the time of the incident foretold in above post, it was unclear to me as to the true nature of one Mr. Michael Mouse's intentions, it has now, after some investigation become all too clear.

Regarding the accusation of Mr Mouse 'looking for a fight' by approaching me with a fixed grin and using the line "So you wanna join the Mickey Mouse Club?!" I have now been informed that this was not an insinuation that he had replaced me in Annie's affections, but merely a catchphrase Mr Mouse is well known for. Rather like Buzz Lightyear with "To infinity and beyond", Grandad's with "pull my finger" and Ron Walker with, well, "Catchphrase", Mr Mouse's "So you wanna join the Mickey Mouse Club" is his own identifiable quip and was not intended to cast aspersions of any kind.

Regarding the 'sing-songy' "Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggady dog" It appears this is Mr Mouse's theme tune and the hip swivelling, the accompanying dance that goes with it. It was not intended to 'goad' in anyway, and Mr Mouse would like it pointed out that he is fully aware of the differences between a dog and a cat, and that it was never in question, in his mind, that I am indeed the latter.

It should also be pointed out that the copious references to Mr Mouse's oversized ears was uncalled for and discriminatory to those with larger lobes.

I would like to categorically state that all the actions of Mr Mouse were of a friendly and allied nature and not intended to offend, subvert my authority or in any way cause the events that followed.

On another note Ted Bear would like it formally stated that he would have stepped in regardless of what he was wearing and it had nothing to do with 'proving he was still Boss'. He would like it to be noted that he is fine with his new attire and others need to come to terms with the fact that "Ted Build-a-Bear now comes with pink knitwear"

With that in hand, please be aware that no toys were harmed long term by the events that befell us a few weeks ago, and any toys that did have subsequent nightmares have been referred to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team).

An all time low

So things have hit an all time low this week as the battle for Mu's affections came to a head. Now am not saying that all Yanks are the same, and would like to make it abundantly clear before I set off on this post, that I love America as a country and it's people I have found to be very friendly but that Mickey Mouse had it coming...

It all started with, as mentioned last week, Mu doling out kisses and hugs to any cuddly toy that passed her way, apart from me. Undeterred I didn't take it personally and vowed to persevere with the situation, safe in the knowledge I had Mam on my side. That was, until Sunday afternoon...

Due to an oversight, I had been got out of the cot in the morning but in the rush to get to church on time I was left in the living room until Mu returned - which happened to be the duration of the day. Seeing I was in for the long haul I decided to make the most of it and hang out with the other toys whose home is in the Play Tub. All was going well until that Oversized-Eared-Mouse sauntered over with a fixed grin across his face (which he couldn't seem to wipe off). I'd like to point out, it was clear from the off that he was asking for a fight as his opening line was "So, you wanna join the Mickey Mouse Club?!" Well, I knew what he was implying, that he was now Annie's Favourite Toy and I would have to join his gang in order to get any look in with her. I replied with a gentle roar to show him who was boss. Sadly he didn't take the hint...

His reply to my reply was plain and simply goading "Hot dog, Hot dog, Hot diggaddy dog" he said, in a sing-songy type manner, well, that really got the ribbons on my mane up, I'M CLEARLY A CAT AND HE KNEW IT! As if that wasn't enough it was accompanied by some form of dance routine, which, I will say, left a lot to be desired. However, I have to admit with that three fingered rodent grinning and swinging his hips in my face I'd had it and launched at him with a full roar...

...What happened next wasn't pretty, Mickey - still grinning - fell backwards off the sofa giving me the chance to perform that wrestling move I'd been practicing for some time now. He however he rolled at the last minute, whipping me in the face with his tail and causing me to face plant the floor...

What happened after this was a bit of a blur but I do remember lassoing my hoops round one of his giant ears and swinging him above my head till he spun off, this was countered by him pulling off his gloves and trying to plait my ribbon mane...there was some scratching I will admit, and yes, even some hair pulling, and I was thankful for all those Aqua Zorbing lessons I'd been having as my skills at wild thrashing of the air and blindly spinning round and round came in quite handy. And, I will say, for a guy who insists on wearing shorts and no shirt (no-one likes that guy) the rat put up a good fight.

We were eventually pulled apart by Ted, a giant Build-a-Bear who has recently been dressed in a pink jumper by Annie and Mam, and so, obviously looking for a chance to show he's still boss. He, when questioned, stated "There are no winners in this.." Well, he obviously didn't see the whole thing...

Now I'm not wholly proud of what happened. I'm normally a pacifist. In fact this is the only fight I've ever been in (The White Witch doesn't count...) and while I am nursing some superficial wounds I do feel that I came out on top as from Monday Annie has started to hug and kiss me... SO HOT DIGGADDY THAT MOUSE...