(This week's blog is brought to you using sentences from the coursework of students studying English - spellings have been corrected for ease of reading*)
So it's been a while, due to the fact that I've been slumming it in the dark ages and we have only just got the internet at our new house - so I guess technically we've been hanging out below the poverty line for a few weeks - according to the government...haven't felt any benefit of that fact.
Life continues to run on like a dog chasing a cat. Mu, now sporting two teeth, has mastered crawling and is stubbornly refusing to use this new skill in order to master walking instead, which she clearly sees as the cooler thing to be seen doing.
She has also taken to giving kisses and hugs to all her toys, apart from myself that it is. I still get a huge THWACK! from a jigsaw piece on my head and while I am laid on the floor and cant see nothing, a stamp on my cheek. Not sure how I haven't made the cut for her affections as I, unlike the wooden spoon, the cars and the teething ring, have really put the effort in in terms of trying to win her love. Sadly, it seems my efforts have been wasted like someone what is cut down in their prime by an unknown attacker on the way to the shop for your mum.
Mam's trying her best to help my cause by hugging and kissing me in front of Mu, then handing me to her, however, this is now just looking like I'm Mam's Favourite Toy, which, at her age, is just embarrassing.
While this turn of events is saddening I will not be defeated like a woman what is got out of a car crash but without her arm why without her arm cos her arm was crushed in the car door and when they cut her out the car with heavy duty machines her arm got stuck and they couldn't get it out. I will persevere undeterred by the current state of events...think it's time I pulled out the big guns...
(*and yes, I mean GCSE coursework, and English is their first language...think the government should be looking into the education system in this country not how many kids have access to Wikipedia...)