Thus, prompted by Mam, an explanation of what my visit to church would entail - I listen patiently as I was informed, with mounting excitement, of the "pwaying (praying), pWAYing (playing), singy songs (singing songs) and fighting (?)" that were Mu's top 4 reasons that I should want to attend. While we all dwelt on Mu's concluding reason, Mu herself had hopped off to get ready for church. This also involved dressing Karoo (plonking an N-Dubz style hat on her head so that the ear flap covered both eyes) and Mam, selecting a left and a right shoe, which sadly didn't match. I was then presented with my ensemble for the occasion...hat, shoes and coat. When I say 'hat' I mean pink, knitted bonnet. When I say 'shoes' I mean pink knitted booties. For 'coat' read 'one half of a pink knitted twin set'. Slightly caught on the blind side I missed my opportunity to ask "Is this a joke?" and before I knew it, Mam was being instructed, nay, carrying out the instruction to "DWESS MY LION PEESE"
As I started to utter my objection I was met with a swift and lengthy response that went something like this...
Me: Grrrr..
Mu: Need a put a shoeses on As-san, your foots will be colderer, it's very colderer outside inda garden...
Me: grrr...
Mu: Anda hat, As-san, your hair will get cold, my hair is colderer too, my need my hat so my hair is not cold...
Me: grr...
Mu: Mammy, MAMMY! Put As-san shoeses on his feet, tie dem on, Mammy, or dey might just fall off and As-san feet will be colderer and maybe a little bit sore...
Me: gr...
Mu: There you ARE! As-san you look beauty...Mammy, MAMMY! As-san look beauty. Daddy, DADDY, DADDY! We are all ready, get your hat and your shoeses and your coat on, daddy, you look beauty...
And with that I was swung over Mu's shoulder and I was off. To Church. In public. Wearing one of Karoo's Hand Knitted Matinee Sets.
Do you think anyone noticed...?
